As families prepare for the seasonal holidays, many are planning meals, parties, travel arrangements and, most importantly, guest lists. For most New Yorkers, it is pretty easy to decide which family members they want included in their festivities. However, if you were to ask those same people whom they consider family for estate planning and long-term care purposes, they may have a more difficult time answering.
As the nation’s population ages, more and more individuals are drawn into caregiver roles for aging family members. While many adult children are happy to provide care for their elderly parents, the additional duties can cause heavy financial burdens that they can ill afford.
Do not assume that a particular sibling is willing or able to take in an aging parent or favorite elderly aunt. Often, the caregiver must leave his or her job – or reduce the number of hours he or she works – in order to provide for loved ones. Failing to plan for fair distribution of the cost and time needed to care for family can drive a wedge between siblings or other extended family members.
As New York families gather together for the holidays, they may wish to discuss end-of-life issues for aging loved ones for the upcoming year. These issues may include home care for elders or those with special needs, nursing home options and caregiver roles. Most people shy away from these difficult conversations, but failing to talk about long-term care planning can be financially and emotionally devastating.
In-home and nursing home care costs are often overwhelming, and too many families are ill-prepared to cover these expenses. A little planning can go a long way to alleviate the burden. Have “the talk” while families are together and discuss – as best you can – the following issues:
Frank discussions held before there is a need for such planning can go a long way to easing the path to healthy solutions for those you love. During such family meetings, try to keep everyone calm and focused on options. The goal is to provide security and protection for the aging family member, not to air family grievances.
Often, such family meetings can be difficult without the presence of a trusted adviser. An experienced New York elder law attorney can assist you and your family in preparing for the inevitable. A lawyer knowledgeable about nursing homes and in-home care, probate and estate administration, and end-of-life planning can help.
